In today’s world people and companies are more focused on their communication with one another. Yes, this communication is very vital in getting your job completed successfully, building relationships, resolving conflicts, getting your point across, sharing your feedback, etc. But even more important than external communication is the internal communication, the communication that you are having with yourself.
Every single day, hour, second or even every moment you are communicating to yourself. There is a constant communication you are having with yourself. This communication that you are having with yourself decides what happens in your present, as well as your future life. You are basically scripting your own life by the communication you are having with yourself. Let’s understand that whatever you see as the truth is what you believe to be the truth and that is deciding how you lead your life. I know it is a complex statement, allow me to explain.
If for example you are watching news today and like many claims, some channel claims that there is a recession in the market now. You see this news and start believing, as well as communicating to yourself that there is a recession in the market. “Now I have to be more cautious about expenses in my business”. You start reducing certain marketing cost, you also start cutting some training cost, you pay less incentives, etc. Now this in turn leads to lesser momentum, the business slowly starts to slow down. Now you reconfirm the story to yourself that the market is slow and I can feel the pinch of recession.
This story need not be true in the first place, but you made it true for yourself. You, having looked at the same news, could have decided to change the market conditions to your favour. Let’s say you decide to find more innovative ways to market your products, creatively cut short certain expenses and become more focussed on meeting customer needs, you might have turned out to make more money than ever.
Always when people say to me that the market is currently slow for training industry, January to March no trainings happen or the appraisal cycle is in the third quarter and no trainings will happen during this period- I happen to tell myself “This is the time to work hard and be more innovative. Time to work on new clients and knock doors of companies where training is the need of the hour.” No wonder I have made more money during those times because others are waiting and I am working. So no matter what the outside world is saying- it shouldn’t bother you. What matters is the communication that you are having with yourself.
“Be careful of how you are talking because you are listening”
All of us go through very happy and not so happy situations. When an happy incident happens to you, what is the communication you have with yourself?
- Do you say I worked hard for this therefore I deserve this?
- I am so lucky and god has blessed me with this
- I got the success I deserve
Or do you say
- How did this happen to me, may be I was just lucky this time…
- Good things rarely happen to me. I don’t deserve this happiness this will just go away.
- Oh god why did something good happen to me?
I have even heard people say “I have been laughing since morning this means something bad is going to happen and I am going to cry later”
Let say something bad happens to you. What do you communicate to yourself?
- I am an unlucky person.
- I know this will happen to me.
- God just hates me.
- I am never supposed to be happy.
- This will also pass away
- What am I supposed to learn from this experience?
- I am learning something from this experience
- This is an important feedback and not a failure
The world outside does not have the power to decide what you feel inside. The power to choose what you feel is only with you. Yes certain situations, incidents might affect you temporarily but they cannot continue to have to have a long-term impact until you decide to continue with that negative feeling.
Life is predominantly about the emotions and state of mind. If you can have control and win over your emotions you can reach any level of success you want to. Even one of the most important ways to handle others is to handle their own emotions. Human beings are not controlling their emotions, the emotions are controlling human beings.
One of the easiest ways to become successful in your life is to become aware of the communication or Self Talk that you have with yourself. I have understood awareness is the key to anything in life. Here too becoming aware of your self-talk can transform your life.
May be it is too difficult for you to be aware of your self-talk the entire day but make a start. There is a constant thought which is continuously happening in your mind and from those thoughts you pick up certain thoughts and you reinforce it to yourself. The intensity at which you communicate and the number of times you communicate the same to you has a huge impact. Become aware of the negative ones and stop them. Cherish the good thoughts, build on them and communicate it to yourself with lots of intensity.
Change your self talk and change your life! Create your future through your communication which is creative communication!!!
I am attaching the You Tube video is about self-talk. The Speaker Dr. Shad Helmstetter is the author of the book “ What to say when you talk to your self”